Thursday, July 16, 2009

X-Mess in July

Hiddey ho ho ho there. This is what I like to call the Santa theory.
When you where a child ( unless you are Jewish ) your parents explained the rules about Christmas. They are as follows.
#1 BE GOOD OR YOU WILL GET A LUMP OF COAL.
The end. That's it. No more rules.
Now if you wanted a bunch of toys you had to be GOOD. If you were not GOOD you would probably get some presents, but they would all be clothes & we all know that sucks. In other words , you wouldn't be happy.
In the mind of allot of parents, children are not "Capable" of understanding the Religious undertones of Christmas.
The kids don't get that the entire Holiday is based on Jesus.
They only know that if they are good they get toys.
Santa will come & fit his big butt down the chimney & give them everything they wanted for the mere price of a plate of cookies & a glass of milk.
"You better watch out, you better not cry, you better be good , I'm telling you why".
Now take that same scenario & apply it to your adult life.
If you don't say your prayers.
If you sin.
If you are not kind to everyone you meet.
If you should decide to watch Sunday morning football instead of going to the church of your choice....YOU ARE BAD.
YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!
Now to a child, getting no toys, and a bunch of clothes for Christmas is hell. It is their worst nightmare.
What is yours?
Is it burning in a bunch of fire & lava for all eternity?
If you are GOOD you get to be happy.
Sound familiar?
Did you know that the only thing Coal is used for is fire? No wonder it is very undesirable for children. They aren't even allowed to play with matches. What would they do with it?
My point is this.
The way that Christmas is explained to a child is the same way that the Bible is explained to us as adults.
You don't teach a child that is 3 years old that Christmas is about some dude with long hair getting nailed to a cross , do you? You don't make them watch "The Passion of the Christ" right?
If you did it would be terrifying to them & then you would have to pay for years & years of therapy for the poor little thing.
But Santa says if you are good you get what you want.
Isn't the idea of heaven the same thing?
If we don't sin, we get to be soooper doooper happy?!
The Lord is our Santa.
The promise of everything you ever wanted, IF YOU ARE GOOD.
And if you look at the pics I have below, don't those guys kinda look like what everyone thinks God looks like? You know Santa is a Saint .
By the way, those pics are mug shots that a police dept. posted on line because they thought it was funny. I guess when they say God made us all in his likeness, they meant we just look like him.
Think it over.
I believe we are in about 4th grade as far as life goes.
No one really knows what's up?

We're all just waiting for the bell to ring so we can go watch T.V. & hoping we don't get any homework.
We are all children.
My best friend is my cat & she probably knows more about religion then me & thinks I'm full of it. So I may be wrong.
I do know Santa doesn't ask for 10% of my monthly earnings.
As far as Easter goes, I get the egg resembling the re-birth of Christ, but why the hard boiling, colors & the Bunny?
You got me.
J2

1 comment:

  1. Awesome blog!! You're hilarious, and I love the Mr. Hanky pic! hahahaha

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